Friday, October 29, 2010

Christmas Jokes

Q: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas:
A: No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us

Q: How do chickens dance at the Christmas party?
A: Chick to chick!

Q: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
A: He's a fun guy to be with

Q: Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
A: Santa's little Elvis

Q: What does Santa like to eat?
A: A jolly roll

Q: What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A: A cookie sheet

Q: What did the Spanish fireman call his twin sons?
A: Hose A, and Hose B

Q: How does Santa Claus take pictures?
A: With his North Pole-aroid

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
A: Santa Claus-trophbia

Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa baa shop

Q: Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
A: "Rude"olph

Q: What can Santa give away and still keep?
A: A cold

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missile toe

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

Q: What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
A: Platform shoes!

Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has NO EL

Q: Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
A: Deery Queen

Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log

Q: Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
A: They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soots him

Q: What happened when the snowman annoyed the snow-woman?
A: She gave him the cold shoulder

Q: What do they call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses

Q: What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
A: Krisp Kringle

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish

Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic

Q: What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
A: Comet

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? A: Ribbon hood

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes

Q: What does Santa likes to eat?
A: A jolly roll

Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: its Christmas, Eve

Q: What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
A: Jungle Bells

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem

Q: What did the big Christmas candle say to the little candle?
A: I'm going out tonight!

Q: What's red and white and red, red and white, and red and white?
A: Santa Claus rolling down a hill!

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