Q: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas:
A: No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us
Q: How do chickens dance at the Christmas party?
A: Chick to chick!
Q: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
A: He's a fun guy to be with
Q: Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
A: Santa's little Elvis
Q: What does Santa like to eat?
A: A jolly roll
Q: What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A: A cookie sheet
Q: What did the Spanish fireman call his twin sons?
A: Hose A, and Hose B
Q: How does Santa Claus take pictures?
A: With his North Pole-aroid
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
A: Santa Claus-trophbia
Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa baa shop
Q: Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
Q: What can Santa give away and still keep?
A: A cold
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missile toe
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
A: Platform shoes!
Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has NO EL
Q: Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
A: Deery Queen
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log
Q: Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
A: They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone
Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soots him
Q: What happened when the snowman annoyed the snow-woman?
A: She gave him the cold shoulder
Q: What do they call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses
Q: What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
A: Krisp Kringle
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish
Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Q: What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? A: Ribbon hood
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Q: What does Santa likes to eat?
A: A jolly roll
Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: its Christmas, Eve
Q: What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
A: Jungle Bells
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem
Q: What did the big Christmas candle say to the little candle?
A: I'm going out tonight!
Q: What's red and white and red, red and white, and red and white?
A: Santa Claus rolling down a hill!