Really Funny Jokes
Friday, May 25, 2012
Monday, August 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
THE FART...
At times it is silent, at times it is not
at times it sneaks out and burns oh so hot!
When you'd like it to happen, it just won't come out
it hides and it waits till you're out and about!
The evil ones reek and embarrass us so
then laugh as they trail us wherever we go!
I know it's a function we can't live without,
but on a first date must they really come out??
Men light them on fire - it amuses them so
women fight to be quiet so that no one will know.
I can't figure why after eating good food
the smell that results could kill many a dude!
So here's to the fart, our warm smelly friend
you begin in my tummy, then come out my rear-end!
at times it sneaks out and burns oh so hot!
When you'd like it to happen, it just won't come out
it hides and it waits till you're out and about!
The evil ones reek and embarrass us so
then laugh as they trail us wherever we go!
I know it's a function we can't live without,
but on a first date must they really come out??
Men light them on fire - it amuses them so
women fight to be quiet so that no one will know.
I can't figure why after eating good food
the smell that results could kill many a dude!
So here's to the fart, our warm smelly friend
you begin in my tummy, then come out my rear-end!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Where’s the booger?
I was walking in the park when I saw my friend and her 5 yr old son sitting on a bench. I walked over to them and the 5 year old started pointing at me, I said, “if you keep pointing I'll eat your fingers." He kept pointing, so I stuck his fingers in my mouth and pretended to eat them. He then started crying. I looked at him and said don't worry I'm not really gonna eat your fingers. He replied, "I know that but where’s my booger?"
10 Signs Your Car Should Be Recalled
10. "Leaks brake fluid, transmission fluid and blood"
9. "It can only make left turns"
8. "Ambulances follow you around"
7. "It was rated a "Best Buy" by "Faulty Wiring Magazine""
6. "It has the same battery as your watch"
5. "Heater control is marked "Low," "High" and "Sars""
4. "Page 74 of the owners' manual advises: "Car is for display purposes only""
3. "Blue book value: $38.75"
2. "Seatbelts are made of delicious Taffy"
1. "Dealer promised engine would last as long as your marriage to Britney Spears"
9. "It can only make left turns"
8. "Ambulances follow you around"
7. "It was rated a "Best Buy" by "Faulty Wiring Magazine""
6. "It has the same battery as your watch"
5. "Heater control is marked "Low," "High" and "Sars""
4. "Page 74 of the owners' manual advises: "Car is for display purposes only""
3. "Blue book value: $38.75"
2. "Seatbelts are made of delicious Taffy"
1. "Dealer promised engine would last as long as your marriage to Britney Spears"
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